Overcoming Approach Anxiety: The Value Displacement Cure
After years of misunderstanding, paralyzed limbs and complete fear, the cure for overcoming approach anxiety has been found in Value Displacement! Ground Breaking research and techniques have been developed and engineered specifically for dealing with approach anxiety. Value Displacement is transforming how people view and understand their relationships with others.
The research has taken me several years to compose and dissect to deliver to you the most insightful and thorough truth behind Approach Anxiety. The techniques rewire your habits and are easily performed by anyone seeking to harness this crippling disorder forever. Get the Value Displacement cure now!
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The Cure to Approach Anxiety
Understanding Value Displacement
Understanding Value Displacement
Hierarchy Of Needs
Find Your Balance
Desperately Seeking Dave
Find A Role Model
Force A Drink Down My Throat Will You?
Eliminate Excuses Builds Confidence
HB – Hot Babe
SET – A group of people
TARGET – The girl you want
GAME – Being Attractive Socially
Understanding Value Displacement
If you do not approach the girl,
you will have a 100% chance of failure.
The core of approach anxiety has many different theories and ideas from many well known artists. One Idea is that it goes back to the old tribe days where a man had to choose from only a select few of potential mates. Thus making the odds, a life or death situation being that if refuse you would be certainly killed by a rock to the head. The other well known idea is that without the act of approaching you can not have any success. Simply put the percentage of success is based on the facts that if you don’t pursue you have no chance of succeeding. There are many other ideas such as tapping and even forms of acupuncture available to conquer your fear. These may or may not be fopa’s. I have some different ideas on this subject that I will attempt to articulate. You will have a greeter understanding of what causes this so you can attempt to understand and handle the situation the best you feel like handling it.
I will give you some ideas and ways that I have never unleashed to anyone outside of my own students to deal with approach anxiety. This has taken countless hours of brainstorming, training, and testing out theory’s with student’s, friends and other naturals. I hope there is a great appreciation of the tireless effort I have devoted to finally helping men understand what approach anxiety is. Understand ways to easily breeze through this obstacle so that men all over can change the way they think about taking the first step.
Value displacement – Placing value in items that value is not warranted.
Oh my GAWD she’s Hot!
She is way out of my league!
Our approach anxiety comes from our displaced value.
Media is a big distortion of where society places its value. Our parents are distortions of value. In media, we are taught that specific styles, a certain hair cut, large breasts. The TV age has been bombarded with images and advertising. It is no wonder that we enjoy big Macs since in any given hour of TV on nearly any channel you can find several advertisements from Mc Donald’s. Or that Ford trucks are the best rout to go since they are ford tough. My generation has been inundated from childhood notifying us what is good and bad. Unfortunately TV has even formed our parent’s opinions on what is evil or wholesome. Happy meals, hotdogs, tap water, and cinnamon rolls wrapped in bologna was a daily staple of our life. Value was based on the amount of money used to purchase an items opposed to the health benefits related to processed foods. Why don’t we view health as more valuable than the cost of cheap food? How did we get to a point in life where even the word value has been perverted to a degree unthinkable of what value truly is.
Value = Fair return or equivalent for something exchanged; How much something is worth; Distinctive quality; Guiding principal or ideal; Estimate the worth of; Appreciate the worth of; Displace; Expel or force to flee from home or native land; Take the place of
If we take a look at our lives, we can identify other areas where we place value that doesn’t deserve or warrant the value we give to it. Our car selections, type of home we live in, the fluid we use to revive our life cells, whether to or not to have children, our friends, our hobbies, our desires and goals. These are just a few areas that I had to re-look at, ounce I started to understand the value I placed on these items. What are my needs? What is the true value?
Hierarchy Of Needs
Find Your Balance
Balance in life is important, it is especially important to how we choose in our life the correct balance. Different characteristics of woman, the amount of woman in our lives, the risks that adds to our lives. Believe it or not too many women is unhealthy. The goal is to find where your balance is in your life, each person has there own level of what they find their balance. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs each individual has to have a certain amount of items in their life to live happy and product full lives.
To much can weight your life down and your focus can be diverted to maintaining that area of you life. Juggling to hang on to the supply in that area can quickly swing the scale in the wrong way. Soon other areas will be neglected and your happiness will be stunted until balance returns.
Ponder the words in Ecclesiastes:
What profit hath he that woreth in that wherein he laboroureth? I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it. We can gather from History that for everything there is a season, there is a balance that has to be adhered to in order to conduct a healthy and prosperous life.
I had a buddy one time who worked for a popular doughnut maker. This prominent doughnut maker has unmarked vans to deliver there doughnuts around town. When unloading the doughnuts they wheel them into stores late at night after hours with a canvas covering over them. While working in a grocery store I was amazed at the secrecy they took and the lengths they went to; to keep doughnuts secret. One day I was talking with my buddy and I asked him that it seemed like the company goes through a lot of unnecessary trouble to deliver there doughnuts. My buddy pulled me aside as if it was a national secret earnestly believing that his job could be in jeopardy if anyone over heard what he was going to tell me. I could smell the freshly cooked crispy doughnuts permeating through the canvas cover, the sting of his uniform of unloading and having a hand in prepping the boxes of delicious morning pick me ups. Slightly tugging my shirt, he pulls me aside.
Buddy: Take a look at the store shelves, what do you see?
Me: Well it’s the doughnut section.
I rattle off the names of the brands of doughnuts.
Look at the prices of the doughnuts.
Me: Yea some are day old doughnuts and some are cheap non brands.
Buddy: Take a look at those doughnuts over there on the display behind us.
Me: Those are nice, fresh, you just put those there.
Buddy: Yes but these on the shelves here, the ones that look like they are a day old. I just put these up to; they are the same doughnut, made the same time, presented in different ways.
Silently thinking a moment.
Buddy: These are the same fucking doughnuts as those; we package them in different wrappers and boxes so that we monopolize the market. We don’t want the public to know these other brands are the same.
A prime example of value displacement was learned. While walking into a grocery store and you see a display of fresh name brand doughnuts it is truly difficult to bypass them. The marked up price gauging of the display doughnuts singled the doughnut out as the best around, the most sought after doughnut, the best doughnut to buy.
Often we place value on a really hot girl not knowing the truth behind the girl. Because they are displayed well, seem to be hot and fresh. Glazed and oozing sexuality from every pour of her body doesn’t make that girl any different than those placed on the shelf. We want fantasies as much or drool as much over the product on the shelf opposed to the display model but the simple fact is they are the same. So why are we mislead. Well, now that you know the truth about doughnuts, you should be able to understand the truth about the HB.
How do we correlate this to the art of pickup or self improvement and how we handle approach anxiety? I find time and time again, that students will be absolutely terrified of approaching girls in a club, in a coffee shop, in line at the store, etc. This is essentially approach anxiety. Now, I will often take time outside of the club and gaming to hang out with students, just because I feel building networks and relationships are essential to motivating and learning what’s going on with a student. I will purposely take them to Wal-Mart, Target, Best Buy, hanging out just running errands or buying something they need. I will watch how they interact with the cashier of the store. I will watch how they ask questions to the associate selling the item. I will see someone I know and make introductions and they will be social and casual with the relaxed atmosphere given to them. The students don’t know but I watch them and evaluate how they handle and interact with these different people. After wards I will pull them aside and basically enlighten them of what value displacement is.
I will correlate and express to them how incredible they handled themselves with the specific interactions that I explained above. The students sit back and smile a bit listening to me explain that all of these are game situations. PUA’s use these natural comfortable ways to soften the approach to someone they meet. Often I will ask them what the difference is between the old lady at the cashier and an HB10? Since she is a woman and there is no difference in their cellular makeup as a human. They say, Well of course the HB10 is hotter! Yea well, tell me why you can’t talk openly to the HB the way you talked freely with the cashier? Perplexed they often seem, all they can think of is that “I didn’t care about what the old lady thought” Or “She was ugly” or “old” “fat” “to much this”, “to much of that”. Wrong! The reason you can’t talk to the HB the same way you speak with the cashier is because you place value on the HB and you don’t place value on the cashier. Often a cocked head to the side… The question, is this, why do we place value on certain items that doesn’t yet deserve such a high regard? This is where the secret resides. This is where you will completely understand and be able to effectively for the rest of your lives handle approach anxiety in your life. You, the next generation of pick up artist, you the next evolution of game have to identify why you do this. There are different reasons for everyone. You want the answer; you want the magic pill to conquering approach anxiety? You need me to spell it out for you? You have the answer, its there inside you. Why do you give value to those who do not deserve such recognition in your life?
Desperately Seeking Dave
Find A Role Model
• Until the pain of remaining the same,
Outgrows the pain of change,
We will never grow.
In the beginning I started gaming guys. I noticed that IT WAS EASY TO FIND GUYS LIKE MYSELF. Just go to any bar and sit there forever and wait for your average dork to walk in and have a seat. This was me; therefore I always had a subject to work my game on. Two guys sitting at a bar with no life. No game. No Future. But me…. I was determined to change things. I was going to change. I’m going to game the guy. In a since, I, at that moment changed my life completely. I just separated myself and entered a world that I quickly realized was deeper than any rabbit hole Alice had ever enter. I fell into the seduction of the PUA community. I was given the captain chair to the spaceship. Though I didn’t have a clue what to do, I took a seat and started pressing buttons and pulling levers experiencing and seeing things I never dreamed id ever see. I was like a child who had never seen snow, I was the child who stands in his fathers lap and turns the wheel of the car. Now I just had to press the right buttons and find out what these triggers, levers and flashy lights do. That defining moment, I found myself traveling warp nine without a seat belt nieve enough to believe I could change my life.
Dave the bar tender at the time who would ease drop on my conversations as all good bartenders do would often greet me. I did tend to tip a hefty bit since I was in a comfortable position at work. While I would game guys at the bar I didn’t realize but I was in a forum creating social proof. I was becoming the fun social guy that people enjoyed talking to. I would run my openers with a guy. Not sounding like I was trying to pick them up but to be the social cool guy. There I worked on running sets and controlling conversations without loosing there interests. I worked on my voice tone and other vocal issues such as how loud, how to deflect my voice in stories and break rapport. I typically sat at a specific place each time since I always arrive early.
Other hired guns started looking; when Dave wasn’t there they started taking care of me because I ordered the same item every time. Magner’s cider. I tried one from Dave and he said the magic words. We didn’t mean to buy these there were in the shipment and it was a mix up. It’s not worth sending back. It didn’t matter what it was I am a sucker for something a bit different and finding my special items. I started drinking it and they started buy it for me. Suddenly I became “the guy who buys magner” to one girl I became simply “magner” To this day they still call me magner.
The old saying that you have to crawl before you walk is true in pickup. For the topic of approach anxiety it should not affect your game. Since the focus is to over come the fear of failure. Not playing the game to win. In fact I would say that the fear of approaching hasn’t little or nothing to do with actual game at all. The game doesn’t truly start until you make your move. Approach anxiety keeps you from even making the approach. Some students do seem to be comfortable with opening ugly girls than super hot babes. Your first step needs to be dissolving this area of your life first before starting to learn to game.
Force A Drink Down My Throat Will You?
My Bartender Dave notifies me that I would be buying the drink of this girl beside me. Not even realizing or caring who this was my eyes bug out a bit and I take a look to see:
Terris Anne: Chardonnay Love
Dave: (Turns to me) you got this? Great!
Terris Anne: Thank you love, that’s kind of you.
Pondering what the hell happened; I smile at Dave and look around as if I had lost something.
Dave: Trying to set you up bro.
Life plays on without a skip, watching sports on the over head TV and the occasional drunk guy to talk to beside. Smelling the fresh fillet cooking in the background is calling my name. Pondering if I want the fillet or change things up, which I never do. I enjoy the ambient atmosphere and perfect lighting. Shortly after the increase in my alcohol tab from Dave an old lady feels the liberty to introduce herself.
Old Lady: Wow you’re a sexy one!
Me: Yea, thanks, you look frisky.
Old lady: Are you a male model, I swear I have seen you from somewhere?
(Wraps her arm around my neck)
Me: IV been around.
Me: Have you met my fiancée?
I notice Terris arriving to the bar for another drink.
Reach for her arm and pull her between us.
Old Lady: How long?
Me: Six months, we are getting married! (Pull her in for a hug)
Old lady: You guys look great together, you’re perfect!
Me: Were in Love.
As the old lady walks off, I whisper to Terris Anne.
Thank you so much!
Terris Anne: No problem babe.
Suddenly, my entire life changes before my eyes. I have a new girl and I can thank Dave for this one. My approach anxiety would have never broke the ice and allowed this one to happen. I was new, I didn’t even know what anxiety was but I do know I am very thankful for Dave and the little black dress he brought into my life. We form a close nitch together and for some reason she puts up with my many episodes and chaotic events in my life. Stupid conversations, ridicules texts and her phone blowing up on a regular bases. I start practicing game and learning what works and what doesn’t. Because of her patients I am able to fail and learn allot about my text game and how to become a friend.
In 1995, Alvaro Pascual-Leone, conducted an experiment that is truly revealing the power of our brains and how we can teach ourselves step by step what to do in any situation if we know the steps to achieve the goal.
What Pascual-Leone did was have one group of volunteers practice a five finger piano exercise, and a comparable group merely thinks about practicing it. They focused on each finger movement in turn, essentially playing the simple piece in their heads, one note at a time. Actual physical practice produces changes in each volunteer’s motor cortex, as expected. But so did mere mental rehearsal, and to the same degree as that brought about by physical practice.
Motor circuits become active during pure mental imagery. Like actual, physical movements, imagined movements trigger synaptic change at the cortical level. Merely thinking about moving produced brain changes comparable to those triggered by actually moving.
The Mind & The Brain – Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force
Jeffrey M. Schwartz, M.D., and Sharon Begley
Often students will have a lackadaisical mood, let’s go out and chill and they tend to never be motivated.
One way I have helped students get over those initial feelings of fear is to have the student walk with me throughout the bar opening sets. I introduce the student to the set and eject myself. Most of the time the student ejects just shortly after I do. He returns to me.
Me: How did it go?
Student: I didn’t know what to say.
Instantly open another set, and throw them back in the mix again. This pattern continues until they subliminally figure out what I am doing or get comfortable with what’s going on. I have even had students start using me as a prop knowing I would open them up. What ever the case is, I never really cared. The reason I do this is that eventually even if they use me, they will be subliminally building the foundation of their game. Eventually even the most difficult of students will branch out on there own. This may take an incredible amount of time but it will happen. For this reason I always make sure that when a student pays for a session with me it is far more than the average session you get from leading PUA’s. I only do local sessions because I am not concerned about the amount of money I am making but the amount of progress the student is having.
Studies have shown that your focus is raised if you are hungry. It automatically forces focus in order to give the body what it needs. Your body’s ability to focus is extremely important. Studies have shown that it is impossible to learn if we are not focused. Your ability to learn is directly correlated to your ability to focus. Studies have been made that prove that the more you are focused the better your chances are at learning a specific skill.
Therefore, every thing we can do to keep focused is a positive and how we use this focus can elevate our pick up to an entire different level. Scientist who use animals as research objects only use the animals that are hungry, these animals have been proven that they learn at a faster rate. The reason is that they are focused on relieving that urgency for food. We can trick our body to focus if we deny it normal meals, during this time the project or desired item to be learned can be saturated into our brain at a much faster level than those who are not focused.
This is a bit controversial but it works. Often the day of the boot camp I will not eat meals. This is a theory I learned from researching dog fights in college. Often trainers will starve a dog before a fight, and if he wins he knows he will get a really good meal after the fight. Motivation to be precise in every thing I do. I tend to deny myself meals before a boot camp in order to force myself to perform with purpose and with the motive to do well. I know that I will later that evening or the next morning have a good meal.
As well I have also found that eating makes your body focus on breaking down food, sending the food to different areas of the body and moving through your digest track and so on and so on…. My theory is that I want my body to focus nothing but the game itself. I want every bit of energy and senses focused on what to do. Therefore I eat as little as possible to force my body to focus on game than digesting food. I feel that your body often reflects for a couple of days what we eat that day. So If I start a week before boot camp I can make sure my body is full of the nutrients it needs to perform at its peek, so that I do not harm myself when I skip a meal before I perform.
• I don’t support the training of dog fighting or animal testing in any form or fashion. My research was done on the basis of motivational techniques and the spirit of not giving up.
Eliminate Excuses Builds Confidence
Here are some things I do to get my self focused and in the right frame of mood.
I have been working on some diet ideas that I think directly relate to my performance in the field. Everyone has those moments where they just will not go into the field because they truly feel like “shit” I was wondering and thinking about why this is. Here is what I have dissected and seen in my life. Often the food we eat has a direct response to how we feel. Those nights when I feel horrible or have a monster zit on my face that I don’t want anyone to see. Most of this is directly connected to our diet. Keep in mind, I truly believe you can and should train yourself to break through these “highs and lows” and “diet and stress levels” when it comes to sarging. I force myself and have even set myself up dietary to feel bad and then go sarge to build my confidence up to break through Approach Anxiety. With this mumbo-jumbo in mind, the reason to send this message out is to let people know that we can set ourselves up to get the highest results, think better, and be much more comfortable in stressful positions such as opening a really HB. Just as we study to find the right techniques to use in field to say and do to attract a HB. We can feel better simply through our diet and by managing cortisol stress.
As many of you know, I was an approach coach on the side for AFC Adam Lyons. When I go to Miami to help him train students, I myself want to be at the top of my game. I have to expo, be able to explain theory, and be attractive to my mentor and his students. There is allot that goes into this and I will not go into all of it but I do want to share a couple of things I do to sharpen my mental ability, give me confidence in field and guarantee that I don’t end up with a big zit on the end of my nose.
First – Here are some things I do that I learned from an actual skin aesthetician. I have notice that it usually takes me a week to get rid of most blemishes and zits on my face. So, that’s when I start this routine. I use a facial exfoliate before I shave. I have shaved dry and shaved with cream and have found that a cheap local exfoliate works the best for me. It softens the follicles and makes for a smooth finish. I use the product twice a day and then rinse it off like a facial. I usually allow my facial hair to grow until right before the meet up time of the boot camp. This will make sure I don’t have any ingrown hairs or aggravate my skin.
Second – I start watching my diet big-time. I make sure the food I eat is not greasy and or sweet. I nearly cut all sugar from my diet, and no fried greasy foods. I look for buffets not to over eat but to get a good dose of vegetables and fruits. As the time grows closer to the boot camp I tend to have a good reason to stick with the diet. I don’t go over board here; I just don’t eat fried chicken, hamburgers and shit like that. I have found that taco bell is a place I frequent as well as Moe’s and nearly any Mexican restaurant has a good choice. Grilled chicken is good for me also.
• As I approach boot camp I even cut back on my portions.
Third – Blueberries and walnuts! These have been shown to make your brain function at higher levels than when you don’t have these in your diet. As a PUA this is something I feel we all need to do to learn and work at our best. I have done study on nutrition that suggests that certain foods do one of two things to you. They either slow your body and metabolism down or speed your body and metabolism up. Greasy foods slow me down, and nuts and berries speed me up. Blueberries and Walnuts both have the highest amounts of Amaga 3’s. Don’t ask me to clarify what agamas 3’s are but I just know they have a huge impact with me and my mental state. They are high in antioxidant which helps to fight of illnesses and infection. Studies have shown that it even slows down the ageing process among other things….
Another dietary item I use when getting ready for boot camp is organic fresh cracked coconut juice. A glass of this helps your body digest items in your system and replenishes your cells and hydrates your body. In the old days and some third world countries, coconut juice is actually used as plasma in serious needs of patients. It is the closest liquid that mimics our own bodies’ plasma. I usually drink a glass a day if possible.
Another item that I have used in order to trim down so that I look my best is organic coconut oil. I will take a soup spoon full of oil in the morning and at night. It is believed that coconut oil has enzymes that break down your foods and releases stubborn fat cells. It allows the body to release the nutrients and stop storing them into your body deposits. Some scientist even believe that it is a secret weight lose item that the government refuses to support due to all the money that would be lost in the industry.
Some caution here, I grew up in a very poor environment and we often did not have much to eat growing up. I have seen in myself a natural tendency to eat too much now that I am older and have the ability to take care of myself. Be careful not to over dose on either of these. The amounts I use at the start of the week are a couple of handfuls of both morning and night. The day of boot camp Instead of eating meals I will just grab a handful of both periodically through out the day as nibble food. Being careful not to eat too much that my body can’t quickly digest and return to the game. (From experience, too many blueberries will turn your poop blue!)
Water through out the process is nearly always an arm reach away. I make sure that bottles of water are the only thing I drink. No tea, coffee, lemonade, colas or anything. Water only!
I know this probably sounds like I am over doing it, but the game means a lot to me. I have found what works for me and how to be successful at it. I have monitored my body and listened to what feels right and wrong for me.
If you have a special day, or specific night of sarge that you want to be at your very best, I challenge you to take up a couple of these techniques and give them a try. I guarantee that the dietary items above will make a difference in your overall mood and awareness in field and in set.