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Getting ready I clean my car out, vacuum, clean the windows, and whip the dashboard down. Swing by the gas station and fill it up with gas, grab water and some breath mints. I have crossed every T and dotted every I, I have thought about every possibility and excuse for me not to succeed. I have my license easily accessible, my credit card ready and a special place to hide my key so I don’t bulk up my pant pockets. Tonight is going to be perfect.

With my new found research and understanding of flirting I walk in looking amazing, I’ve got my very best clothes, I look my very best. I slide through the door guy, flash my license and my very first step I start looking for groups of people with hot girls in it at the bar. To the farthest end of the bar a large group of people are happy and mingling amongst each other. I know where I need to go, walking right to the center of the group to get to the bar and order my drink, I notice amazingly the guy hops up from the chair right beside and gives me the perfect opportunity to have a seat right in the middle of this crowd of social people. Handing over my card for payment the bartender makes me the perfect Vodka on the Rocks with a smile. My ass familiarizes itself with the bar stool and makes itself comfortable…..

Without understanding or realizing what is going on, the time gets deeper into the night, people thin out around me and I find myself after a few drinks sitting without anyone around. I take a look around and a deep somber moves in to my emotions. Every stool is empty around me, the bartender is working the other side of the bar, the same faces I saw walking in are at the other end of the club, the same voices and laughing is echoing from the opposite end of the counter as me. My temperature rises, a light sweat forms on my head and arms; I feel my heart racing, eyes glancing back and forth. The realizations that people are flocking away from me, making effort to avoid my interaction. Making a conscious effort to move to the other end of the club has started to set in. Looking around just to verify my surrounds and pray this isn’t a bad dream it settles in, I’m alone, I’m inadequate, clueless and I haven’t a clue what I did wrong! I am a valuable, kind hearted and compassionate person. What is wrong!

The only thing I know is to flee the situation, I make a beeline to the door and race my legs out to the car, speed home, undress and lay in bed. Anxiety in full effect, misunderstandings and questions are formulating at a fast pace in my mind. Trying to be a man, be cool, I try my best to hold my emotions inside me. Before I can take my next breath my eyes are filling with water and about to overfill my eyelids, with last charge of energy I try to hold back but the more I try the more pressure seems to fold. I lie in my bedding weeping uncontrollably, cry out why and how I become this way, how did this happen and why me? What did I deserve to feel this way? Tears didn’t stop; I think I cried in my sleep, my bed and pillow seemed as moist and wet as my sheets. This can’t continue, this has to change, whatever it takes I must fix this!

This adventure is very personal, my growth is incredibly real and my teaching is as serious as my life is. I focus on maintaining great relationships with most of my students; I value their privacy and try to be as discreet as humanly possible. For this reason I never post in field coaching pictures with my students unless requested. I understand your needs, my motivation comes from seeing you grow and become a better person, this is everything to me. Pierce